Tomorrow is a big day. It’s my 3 year CT Scan to check for cancer in my abdomen, pelvis and chest. And it’s going to be a big deal when they tell me it’s clear, because almost 3 years ago, they said “it’s most likely to come back in the first 3 years.” So, here we are. At a huge milestone in my 5 year to forever cancer-free life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how my life has changed since I was diagnosed. Not just from the state I live, since we moved a couple times!! But, in other ways. 1) logistics: I feel like I go to the dr all-the-time. And I feel blessed because of that. Bloodwork, labs, follow-ups, monitoring, questioning, wondering….

2) me: The thing I dislike most about the diagnosis, is how it consumes me. I allow it to control my thoughts, my fears. And I’m working on that…and trying to turn the focus to my health, not just to be healthy but to live healthy. Hell, what does health even mean?

3) my support system: they have no other choice, but to be along for the ride. I’m very open with my health and my anger towards cancer, so everyone is along for the journey as we wait for results. This aspect has formed friendships and made my friends and family even closer.

So, here we go, let’s do this. IVs and machines and radiation going in…

Nikkk commentary: me and Brittany telling cancer to fuck off. What other salute did you think it would be? I mean, this is a cancer blog.

© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.