i know what you’re thinking. This has to be an old post. I decided to be a SAHM in August of 2014. Well, the truth be known, a little over a month ago, I finally accepted that I, Nikki, am a Stay at Home Mom.

It’s a very interesting concept. Not working in an environment that directly relates to your college degree. And several people have strong opinions on this line of work.  I often hear, “I could never be a SAHM” or “I wish I could stay home, but financially we can’t make it work.” Along with some very rude comments and some very sweet ones. 

The crazy thing is, I never thought I would not be working in a corporate office. When people ask what you want to be when you grow up, I didn’t have a specific job title in mind, but I knew I wanted to be in business. It never crossed my mind I would be a mom. Yes, sure, I wanted to be a mom but I didn’t think it would be my job title someday. And financially, we make a lot of sacrifices and clothing and handbag stores miss me because of it. 

But you know what happened? Life happened. No plans, no outlook, just every day, going with what is handed to you, life. It didn’t happen all at once, but over time, it kind of just made the most sense for my marriage, my children and most importantly, for me, to stay home. And it was a rough start. I spent the first 4 months looking for part time jobs. Only one serious interview, but always looking. And soon found out, for us at least, if you don’t have someone to watch your kids for free while you do the part time job, it doesn’t make a whole of sense to work.

And then I got sick. So there went 8 months of beating myself up that I didn’t appreciate being home. After all, what did I have to complain about?! And then we moved and I found out I was pregnant, and I was still looking for a part time gig. I miss my team, the people, having a say on a decision.  Maybe I am one of those people who tell me, I couldn’t stay home. This just isn’t for me.

I also put too much emphasis on what I assumed other people thought of me. No one has ever come out and said anything negative to my face, but there has been change. In relationships, conversations and comments that maybe I took a little to personally (or literally). 
It’s a great debate, to stay home or to work. And just like breastfeeding or formula feeding, people have strong opinions. Which when you think about it, is funny because these decisions that people make have little to no influence on someone else’s life. 

And about a month ago, I finally embraced it and it really has made a huge difference. I think it was a combination of an appt with my oncologist and hearing my husband tell me, “I really think you are going to look back at these days and remember them as the best years of your life” and for some reason, it clicked. I’m a Stay at home Mom. I love what I do – wow, did I just say that?! I said I love what I do for a living?  It is challenging, it is exhausting and I’m making huge, life changing decisions every day.

Yes, along with these life changing decisions, I also get to be apart of the excitement of a finding a leaf on a walk, watching reruns of Paw Patrol and Curious George. And of course the excitement of poop.

It’s unfortuate that it took me so long to appreciate my life and my time, but at my old job we use to say, give yourself a year before you know what your doing. And I think it applies here. And like all jobs, there are good days, bad days and a lot of in between. 

Either way. I’m lucky that my days start off with smiles and hugs and ends with stories, a lullabies and “I love you”.  And who knows, if I play my cards right, I’ll be a Stay at Home mom for many years to come. 
© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.