Monday, August 10

Round 9: Erin and my mom came to town to watch the kids and join me to my 9th treatment. Everything was running smooth, too smooth, from registration to labs.  No back ups, no long waits. We should have known there was bad news in store. 

The entire cancer center smelled funny.  So, once we got to labs and she flushed my port, it was time to start throwing up.  And to add insult to injury, I got a bloody nose while vomiting.  The nurse was really sweet and Erin was a rock star.  And once we finished up, we headed to my dr. Appt.

Lab results are in: platelets are at 74 and my liver levels are high.  Weight was 123.  He asked about my weight gain. To which I responded, I have an appetite and I’m not throwing up every day.  He asked, “why do you think that is?” Uh..because you are putting less chemo in me…

Dr. casually mentions that he wants an ultrasound to see what is going on. So, off to the infusion room we go. 

The infusion is supposed to last about 3 hours, and ends up taking 4 and 1/2.  But I didn’t get sick and after a nap, Erin and I watched a movie. 

   
 Tuesday: Steve and Rose stop by to take the kids to the park so I can rest.  But I can’t get this damn idea out of my head that there is something more to my liver levels.  I have been good about not looking online at cancer information.  Because, I have learned from pregnancies, every situation is different and there is some scary stuff out there. 

But I looked anyways.  Turns out that the liver levels could be high from chemo or it could be that cancer has spread to the liver.  Well FUCK! So I call my dr. Immediately and leave a message.  Call Scott and he is says he is coming home over lunch. 

And I called Erin to see what she “heard” at the appt and to tell her I was freaking out. So we get Holly in the loop and start trying to get me calmed down (and everyone else worked up!)

Nurse calls me back and does confirm my that my internet search is correct in that it could be the cancer is spreading.  Well FUCK.

So much for resting while the kids are at the park. I cleaned out Cecilias closets and scrubbed the kitchen walls!  I call Angie and we decide not to tell mom (to avoid worry) and we start praying.

That afternoon, I call to schedule the ultrasound for Thursday morning. In the meantime, Scott cancels a business trip that he is supposed to go on Wednesday and we fall back into waiting. 

Wednesday, off to the botantical gardens we go.  Steve joined me to help with the kids.  I have decided if there is cancer spreading through my body, I’m not going to let chemo leave me on a couch.  It was a beautiful morning and the gardens are my favorite place in the city of St. Louis.  It really is a little peace on earth there. 

Headed home for naps and Scott came home for lunch. And to add to the worry, Cecilia woke up from her nap with a fever and started throwing up, so it was a blessing Scott could leave work a little early to come home and help with the kids.

   
 
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