Round 8, Chair 19. July 27, 2015
I put in my head phones and turn on my music. It’s not loud enough to drown out the beeping sounds of the chemo machines screaming for attention. The rolling of other patients walking to the bathroom. Looking weak and tired.
I lean back and close my eyes. Trying to imagine I am someplace else. Deep breath. Just relax. Constant prayers, “God, give me the strength to be brave, the strength to be strong and the strength to move on.”
I can still taste the vomit in my mouth. I really tried not to throw up. Anticipatory nausea. It’s real and it likes me. I do not care for it.
Finally, i have completed more than I have left to finish. Platelets are at 64. Ouch! But we are on a mission. Let’s do this. Going to continue with treatment but at a lower dose.
© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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I will continue to pray Nikki – for your healing, strength and comfort, and for your ability to stay strong and brave. It is hard, I know. Hugs to you and your family.
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Nikki: You look healthy and such a beautiful smile. You r in my daily prayers and think of you daily and know you r going through a living hell. You have to beat this for the kids and Scott’s sake as well as yours. Luv you, A. Sandy Z
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Still keeping you close in my prayers. Keep kicking cancer’s ass!!
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Thinking and prayin for you honey! XO
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Nikki, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I was your 1st grade teacher – Mrs. Schumacher. My daughter, Melissa, told me about your illness and I’ve been reading your blog. I am amazed and inspired by your courage! I will continue to pray for you and send good thoughts your way. Stay strong!
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You can do this, Baby Girl. I believe in you. Hugs and prayers always, lovey.
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