Written October 2016

Life has been pretty hectic lately. After having baby number 3, it really changed the parenting game. People often say (or warn would be a better way to put it) that 2 kids you’re still playing one-on-one defense. With 3, you’re outnumbered.

When friends would check in on me after having Elliott, I would find myself explaining, things are good but I can’t handle anything else. I was at my limit. My plate was full!

I had a CT scan scheduled for August 2 before I had the baby, so I knew my pregnancy bliss (being of why I’m always at a Dr office) was over.

And then Scott came home from work one day in late July and mentioned a possible job opportunity in Indianapolis. I didn’t speak to him for the rest of the night. For 1) how is moving not adding anything else to the crazy life that is our current situation and 2) it wasn’t St. Louis or Effingham. 

But the more i thought about it. It just made sense to get closer to home. So, we added listing a house, house hunting and moving 4 states to the plate!

It’s funny how chemo prepped me for others challenges in life. Because when I looked at everything that neeed to happen, I couldn’t breathe (full on anxiety attack, couldn’t breathe). Questioned myself if maybe I was suffering from post-partum. So, I took a task-by-task and day by day approach. And, tried to take a minute to celebrate our successes!

For example, the realtor came to take pictures for the listing, had a beer that Monday night. Departed the house at 4:30am for an early flight, with 3 kids and had the house in shape for an open house. Scott and I toasted with our Starbucks coffee after getting on our gate!

And so on and so forth; to the moment when I requested to just fast fwd to the following week, as we had the packers, movers, travel and unpacking all lined up. But here we are, moved in and getting settled. 

At my last oncologist appt on 10/11, my CEA was 4.7. Still rising but not a big jump. He said if he was my dr in 3 months; and it went up again, he would do another scan. Possibly a colonoscopy. But the best advice he gave me (because I asked for just that) was to exercise and to take time for myself, because health is mind, body and soul. 
Nikki commentary;

Cecilia is a terror but she has a heart of gold. And when I return (from being anywhere for more than 5 minutes) she looks at me excitedly and says. “Momma, you’re here!”

I give her a hug and agree, “yes, I’m here!” And in my mind, I remind myself “Nikki, you are here!” Try not to lose sight of the big picture because you are here!!
© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.