After the usual, floor 1 registration, floor 2 labs, floor 3 appointment and, wait, what? No infusion?

It was an odd day. My friend, Betsy, picked me up, and things just seemed off.  I had her drop me off while she parked the car so I could stop by the pharmacy and question them about a bill we received. Long story short, I ended up yelling at these two nice ladies and told them that the hospital could go f themselves if they think they are getting one more cent from us.  Then I cried and said a few other things and stormed off. 

Well, now to registration, holy line, is anyone working here?? 

Floor 2 labs:  the woman who was accessing my port, her office phone kept ringing and she kept answering it and it was just strange. We left the room and I was like, where did she go? Is she going to send in my labs!

Floor 3: Dr. appointment.  Mrs. S you don’t have to pay your co pay. Looks like you have a credit and you have reached your out of pocket max.  (Hmm..wonder if the ladies from the pharmacy called) 

Waiting for dr. Betsy and I are discussing our height so the nurse offers to measure both of us.  We are 33 years old and shrinking, already?  So now there are a couple nurses all remeasuring and seeing how tall they are. 

Dr. Appt: how is my blood work? Not good, you need 100 platelets for chemo and you have 55.  Chemo is killing my bone marrow and there isn’t a pill to make it come back. My body needs to make it (recover so to speak)  Come back in a week for a check up and hopefully infusion. 

 I explained how the last round was awful and I felt like I was dying and asked if anyone had ever died from chemo.  Yes, people have but I will not.  We will also lower my doses because it’s proving to much for my body. Discussed several other things and finally, we are on our way. 

I go to see a nurse to take out my needle and the infusion room has this awful spell that makes me want to vomit.  Note to self, bring something to put under my nose next week or wear a mask.  Egh. 

Walking out, I apologized to the pharmacy ladies, and one walked around to give me a hug. Felt better about that, since it’s not their fault I have cancer. And, even though I can get pretty passionate, my heart is still in a good place. 

So, how am I feeling:  pissed and upset.  My chemo weeks were lining up perfect for my nieces bridal shower and bacherlotte party, her wedding! And now I’m a week off.  But I need to remember my day to day plan and not lose sight of the forest for the trees.

Good news:  I really feel this is God’s way of giving me a break.  I have been praying a lot that He carry me through this battle and I physically need a break from being so sick. The physical pain is real and I don’t know how much more I can handle. 

So, I’m officially on borrowed time and hope to make the most of it. With lots of rest and fluids (maybe this weekend I will even have a glass of wine!)  To bad we don’t have a private  jet to getaway in for the weekend.
© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.