The week of March 22, 2015

My mom came to stay with us to help with the kids, house and me, for my first week home. God sent! If anyone knows me and my mom, we are so similar we drive each other insane. But this week was different. It’s funny how the details don’t seem to be as important. 

Physically, like anything, overtime it got easier, but it was hard to be around the kids and not pick them up. And to constantly remind Jeffrey that Momma had a boo boo on her belly and he couldn’t kick or jump on me.

The dr had told me I would be exhausted, and I was.  So I rested. My body let me know when I was doing to much and it would double me over, so I would sit. 

March 30, 2015

Scott and I met with the surgeon and I greeted him with a hug.  I’m a hugger. The incision looks good and walah! I’m healed! He suggest I get off the pain meds (I was only taking Ibprophen during the day and half of the good stuff at night) and to get healthy for chemo.  I’m a rule follower, so I stopped all pain meds and started a daily vitamin.  

Nikki commentary: when my dad died from cancer, I remember wanting the world to “pause”  to give me a chance to mourn and adjust before it was time to jump back in.  

I can’t help but to feel like that now, especially when I’m laying in bed. Like, wait…stop…hold up.  I’m not ready… I’m missing out on these moments with my babies…Scott and I need a minute. I don’t want to be sick.

My dad died on a Sunday. I was at state dance competition that following Friday and Saturday. 

There is no pause button.

© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.