I remember very little from Thursday, post surgery. I remember waking up in the recovery room in excruciating pain and screaming “I can’t breathe!”  They asked me if I had anxiety, and I said “yes” in between my cries of “I can’t breathe”. And I was back asleep.

I woke up in the hospital room with Scott and Angie.  I was dozing on and off.  Apparently I didn’t look to hot.  Just really pale. I remember the dr or someone asking me if I felt like I got hit by a truck, to which I responded.  “I’ve been hit by a fucking train!” And then repeated the f word, explaining that “my mother didn’t like when I said it, but fuck!”.

Scott stayed the night at the hospital (for the next three nights) and my mom, Tina and Angie were at the house with the kids.

Nikki commentary: my sister reminded me that I was a on machine that monitored my oxygen levels and would beep to remind me to “breathe”.  I would get in such a deep sleep it would beep loudly an jerk me awake and I would push my button like 30 times and start gasping for air. 

Friday, March 20

I got to push a button, every time it turned green, that meant it was time for more drugs.  It started off at every 6 minutes but soon it was longer than that.  And I was severely dehydrated and only allowed ice chips and Popsicles. They started increasing fluids in my iv.

Two things that suprised me about drugs- how itchy I was and how it changed my vision. Overall, the surgeon said I wouldn’t be a good drug addict and didn’t respond well to narcotics. 

Mom, Angie and Tina came to visit during the morning and early afternoon. 

Scott headed home to spend some time with the kids around 4pm.  His brother, Jason and his wife Abigail were also coming in town to stay at the house with the kids.

By Friday late afternoon, Ron, Libby and Steve and Rose’s visit, it was time for lots of action, so I don’t remember their visit.  

But it was time for the catheter to come out and to get off the happy button and the nurses would have to put the pain medicine into the IV manually. (I would later find out, that this was not a great way to keep me comfortable). And I was also having shots in my stomach to avoid blood clots.  All good times really. 

It was also time to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.  Holy hell, that is painful after you have had your abs cut open. 

For better or for worse… Scott would brush my hair, lift my legs in and out of bed and help me use the bathroom. I asked him if he ever thought would be doing this and he responded, “not this early on life.” And to add to it, I was on my period. So every person who helped me use the bathroom also got to deal with that!

At about 7pm, Malinda came to visit and it was about this time I started having an anxiety attack from one of the  medicines. I was shaking, couldn’t calm down, and finally the nurse got approval from the dr to give me Benadryl, to counteract the drug. Malinda waited until Scott got to the hospital, and I was drifting off to sleep.  This was around 10pm.  

Friday night was rough, I would wake up every two hours to use the bathroom and to call the nurse for more medicine. It was a long night. 

Nikki commentary: I don’t know why, but I was shocked to wake up to flowers in my room. I was and still am truly humbled by the well wishes and gifts. It really does give strength to keep trying. 

   

 

© Nicole Szymonik and This Is the Pause Button, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicole Szymonik and This Is The Pause Button with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.